I decided to plant some flowers in front of my apartment so I went to the payphone (ours was off) and called mama and asked what I could plant that would be easy to take care of and she suggested petunias. She said she would come by and help me the next weekend. I told her ok and that I may come spend the night with her and show her my Glamour Shot pictures that I had made for my birthday. I told her I would call her if I was coming. Well I decided to go down the street and look at flowers. I went ahead and bought some and some mulch and went home and started planting. I got up the next morning and finished so about 10:30 I went to the payphone to call mama and tell her about my flowers and she did not answer.
I went home and eventually laid down because I had to work that night. We were busy at work I was drawing labs on a baby and in walks Susan. I was like what are you doing here this late at night. She said your mother is in the hospital and no one could get you today but when they got me I did not want them to call you I wanted to come be with you. Her neighbor called 911 and the brought her here about 10:30 this morning.
Off I go with her and in the elevator she said they think she had a stroke. I was scared but knew she would be ok. We got there and her friends were there as well as my Aunt Pat and she was in surgery for her arm as they had found a blood clot. The surgeon came in and said it should hold up but the next 24 would tell us. I got in to see her in ICU and she was on the ventilator and her nurse came in to talk to us. He said her etoh(alcohol) was 250(2.5) and that was why she was unconscious but once it wore off she would wake up. -Knowing what I know now that I did not know then was an alcoholic can have an etoh of 400 and be walking around like they are just buzzed.- So I stayed the night with her and sweet Sam her nurse let me in as much as I wanted. My aunt and uncle and Grandparents came up the next day and I went home and took a nap. Before heading back that afternoon I called my dad and told him mama was in the hospital. I am not sure what I wanted to achieve from that but got nothing not a do you need anything or a let me know if I can do anything for you zilch. What did I expect really.
I got back to the hospital and everyone left. Her nurse said that they did another MRI and her brain had shifted and they saw a blood clot. I did not know exactly what that meant but around 2am I went in and had a heart to heart with her. I said mama I love you more than anything in the world and I will miss you terribly but you have had a rough life and if you are going to a better place go. I will be ok. I kissed her and told her I loved her and that I was going back out to the waiting room.
30 minutes later her nurse came out and told me to come in there so I did and they had this blanket on her. He said that her temp had spiked to 105 and it was time to call family. Wow what really!!! I called Susan first and then called my aunt Pat who called everyone else but was waiting on my cousin to get there. Susan got there and Sam said I am so glad you are here I did not want her to be by herself. Everyone came and the Dr's sat us down and said her brain is gone its time to make the decision weather or not to take her off the ventilator. Well that is was I decided to do and with me Susan, Aunt Pat, Uncle Mike, Paige standing around her bed she passed way around 10:30am on April 6th 1995. I donated her eyes to the Alabama eye foundation. I went and signed a bunch of paperwork and then went back in her room and kissed her on the forehead and began to cry. I just could not believe she was gone. I had endured the pain of loosing her so many time and this time forever on earth and my heart was broken. I got home to my apartment that morning and all of my petunias were in full bloom.
The next day I drove the hour and a half to my grandmothers and she my grandfather and my aunt went to make funeral arrangements. My grandmother told me to do what I wanted and they would pay for it. The funeral director brought us into a room full of caskets. I, three weeks after my 20th birthday, had to pick out a casket for my mother. Well surprisingly enough I did it and did not cry once. Her favorite color was green so her casket was hunter green with ivory inside and I gave them one of my outfits that she like that was also green to put on her.
The next night was the viewing, Jason came with me. I held up great and greeted all of her family and friends. We drove home and the next morning I got up and drove back for the funeral. We got to go in and view her one more time before they closed the casket. Then it hit that would be the last time I would ever see her again. I asked the director if I could have some of her hair and he cut it and put it in an envelope for me. At this point I broke down, I would never see my mama again. They took me into the pews where the family sits and Anne Murray(I picked 2 of her favorite songs) began to play. I was a mess. Someone drove me to the grave site and there we had the graveside service and she was buried. I will be forever grateful to my grandparents for paying for everything and allowing me to make all of the arrangements.
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